So we've already talked about what a transcendent experience anal sex can be, and we've heard the nuggets of anal knowledge some women wish they’d known before they dived into the butt-sex game. But no matter how prepared you feel to let your partner knock on your back door, one nagging question can eff up your rear-end game: How likely are you to poop...and what happens if you do?
We've asked around, and while there's no confirmed stat on how many women go number two during anal sex, Nicole Prause, Ph.D., founder of Liberos, says there are two factors that can certainly increase your chances —how deep the penetration is and the shape of the, um, instrument.
"If you are concerned about the likelihood of poop appearing, you should limit stimulation to very shallow penetration," says Prause. "Fecal matter is [also] more likely depending on the shape of the penis. A rigid, large corona [the head of the penis] will be more likely to capture the material and drag it out."
So yeah, it's definitely a possibility. To find out what can be done to help prevent a stinky situation, we checked in with Rachael Ross, M.D., Ph.D., co-host of The Doctors, for some tips on how to keep your poop in its proper place (a.k.a. the toilet).
Clear the Pipes
“There are so many different speeds and depths that can occur during anal sex,” says Ross. "Coupling that with pre-prep, or lack thereof, determines who will have an accident or not. Plainly and simply, if your anus is full of poop when you start anal, then there’s a chance of stooling during the activity." Translation: Try to clear it all out before the fun begins.
Some people’s method of choice is a water-based enema, says Ross. An enema is a device that you can pick up at your nearest drugstore and fill with water, which you then pump into your anus to flush out any stool. The instructions for enemas can vary by brand, so be sure to follow them to a T. After that, you can shower right before you have sex to make sure you feel as pristine as possible.
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Choose the Right Snacks
What you eat the day-of is a major factor in whether you might let a little something slip during anal. “Right beforehand, avoid foods that create a large amount of gas, loose stool, or are very spicy,” says Ross. And although it varies from person to person, considering steering clear of things like Brussels sprouts and curry for maximum protection. Foods that upset your digestive tract in any way can create feces that’s a little more liquid or that unexpectedly sneaks up on you, which makes an accident more likely.
The funny thing is, you might want to turn to that type of food earlier in the day. If you want to avoid a pooping-during-anal situation, you should be parked on the porcelain throne, emptying your bowels a few hours before you hit the sheets. “Although everyone’s different, if you’re trying to cleanse yourself through food, give yourself between four to six hours between that anal preparation and the event,” says Ross. “If you have spent time clearing your anal vault beforehand, then you have less chance of stooling during anal sex.” So consider that an excuse to douse an earlier meal in as much hot sauce you want.
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What to Do If It Happens
No matter whether you use an enema or spent an hour earlier in the day getting rid of everything in your system, there’s still a chance you could poop during anal. It’s a fact of life, and it’s perfectly okay. “Think of his penis as a plunger," says Ross. "Sometimes, it dips in and might bring out a few particles or smearing. Other times, the plunger creates enough suction that a large amount of stool is evacuated." It can sound kind of terrifying, but if you’re using a condom and it’s just a little, all you have to do is roll it off, toss it in the trash, and change the sheets ASAP, says Ross.
If not, keep the changing the sheets bit, and consider hopping in the shower together. Not only will the soapiness help you feel clean, but getting sudsy together may displace any potential embarrassment on either of your parts.
Most of all, remember two things: First, it’s not the end of the world. “Some guys who are into anal are also sort of turned on by the poop smell and seeing particles of poop throughout the event,” says Ross. "Don’t be embarrassed." Second, sex can be pretty freaking weird, but that’s part of what makes it in a class all its own. Do your best to laugh it off, then give it a go again when you’re feeling adventurous.