My husband Chris’s parents are really sweet people. But for some reason, embarrassing and unpleasant things just seem to happen to me when they’re around.
The first time Chris and I ever stayed with them, we said we would sleep in separate beds. We were dating at the time and figured they would dig that…but of course Chris snuck into my bed in the middle of the night. We were so busted the next morning when his mom came to wake me up and, bizarrely, her son was snoring away in bed next to me.
Then there was the time I spent two hours at their place with my shirt completely unbuttoned. They were too polite to say anything…or maybe they thought it was the latest style? Either way, I nearly died when I later discovered I’d been flashing my lacy red bra at my father-in-law while we discussed the weather.
And then, of course, there was the time I forgot Chris’s dad is deathly allergic to peanuts and tried to serve him cookies that were laced with peanut butter (luckily, we managed to avoid a trip to the ER). Soon afterward, I spilled red wine all over my tidy mother-in-law’s beige carpet.
While I’ve had my share of embarrassing mishaps, it turns out I’m still in the minor leagues when it comes to mortifying moments with the in-laws. Case in point:
“I had a terrible weekend with my in-laws when I was newly pregnant. The first thing I did when I walked in was to throw up in their sink—I couldn’t make it to the toilet. I also threw up in their driveway, and in a rare moment when I wasn’t puking, I accidentally broke my father-in-law’s $200 cologne that was sitting on the bathroom counter. It was the weekend from hell.” —Julie
“My husband and I had sex one time when we slept over at his parents’ house. I had my period and didn’t feel like hitting the bathroom beforehand, so I hastily took out my tampon, wrapped it in a tissue, and slipped it under the bed. I forgot about it and his mom found it!” —Becky
“I was visiting my in-laws once when my mother-in-law strolled by in just her bra and a thong. I was mortified, but it turns out she does this all the time! I also accidentally found a tube of her lube that was just sitting out. We don’t visit them much anymore.” —Lucy
“I noticed I had a few gray hairs during an extended stay at my in-laws', so I decided to dye my hair in their bathroom. I accidentally got some dye on their bathroom counter—and it stained!” —Beth
“My in-laws have a dog that loves to break into the garbage can. I had my period when we went over for dinner one night and changed my pad. When we sat down to eat, my father-in-law noticed that the dog had pulled out another new ‘treat’ and destroyed it all over their floor. It was my bloody pad…and it was everywhere.” —Amanda
I'm feeling pretty thankful that my WTF moments were so tame right about now!
Korin Miller is a writer, SEO nerd, wife, and mom to a little 2-year-old dude named Miles. Korin has worked for The Washington Post, New York Daily News, and Cosmopolitan, where she learned more than anyone ever should about sex. She has an unhealthy addiction to gifs.